big effing deal.

It is imperative in business, as it is in life, that we understand that everything we do or say has impact. It is also understood that we are what we eat. The majority of us know and accept all of this as Universal Law, and yet, when push comes to shove, often times we're forced to improvise. Spaghetti night turns into spaghetti week. Leftovers become omelets. Pancakes make due for dinner, and if not for dented, deeply discounted cans of tuna fish, we fear we might suffer acute protein deficiency. So if your cupboards are bare and all you can afford right now is Cap'n Crunch [buy two get the third box FREE] then for Frugal Gourmet's sake, pull out your Great Granny's china and fine dine like the aristocrat you were born to be.

Now, before you go assuming that I'm struggling to make ends meet, think again. I'm just like you and every other business owner. I take the good with the bad, and I never, ever forget where I've come from. My little family is comfortable today, but there was a time when Cheerios and china bowls were a staple. The point is, we never lost the good life mindset. We never settled, though we've certainly sacrificed. And while we have a million miles to go until we've arrived, the rent is paid, the pantry's stocked, and the cable guy has yet to show up to disconnect us.

The feminist in me feels the need to recall the single Mom card, too. Stop playing it, ladies, please. With a divorce rate of 50% in this country, our would be plight is, at best-- paltry. That's right, I said paltry. Small potatoes... very small. More like a garnish, or dressing. Served on the side and hardly worth mentioning. But since we are mentioning it, here are the stats:

According to Custodial Mothers and Fathers and Their Child Support: 2007, a report released by the U.S. Census Bureau in November, 2009:

• There are 13.7 million single moms and dads currently raising their children in the U.S.
• Statistically, this number has not changed since 1994.

Children Being Raised in Single Parent Homes:

• 21.8 million children under the age of 21 are being raised by a single parent.
• This represents 26.3% of all children under 21 in the U.S.

Custodial Single Parent Statistics:

• Mothers represent 82.6% of all custodial parents.
• Fathers represent 17.4% of all custodial parents.

Blah, blah, blah... Okay lovelies, bottom line:

If I can do it, surely you can do it. I have managed to manage my household solo, and for the better part of my eldest child's life. And 18 years ain't nothin' to sneeze at. So toss your tissues and roll up your sleeves. Look at it this way, men [at least the men I've loved] eat like horses and frequently smell like the backside of a barn. So, by my calculations [and no, math is not my gift, but foot-in-mouth certainly is] the money you're saving in monthly groceries and air freshener alone is worth at least two pairs of Madden's... give or take.

Show of hands:

Boiling? Good. Get pissed, stay pissed. Belly laughing? Even better. Go with that. However you've perceived my advice, please trust that it comes from a loving place. You deserve the best and your children deserve to see their Super Momma at her best. Now, do yourself a favor and slip into those slingbacks and GO GET IT. I can't possibly divulge a better beauty secret than to wear your self confidence like you would your slinkiest little black dress. Remember, whether you're a size 2 or 22, a smile makes a smashing entrance. And success, especially when achieved fair and square and by the sweat of your brow, is very, very sexy.

And who doesn't like sexy? Show of hands:

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Exactly.