procrastination nation.

You’ve heard of the place, right? Many of us dwell here, a few have visited and even bought the t-shirt. Maybe one day we’ll even get around to wearing it. Ah, Procrastination Nation: the land of limbo, the “I dunno, I’m still on the fence” neutral territory, and for those in the know, it truly is the best place to retreat when taken on an unexpected guilt trip. As for me? I'm the Mayor of said town. I know full-well that I could put off putting things off 'til Kingdom Come. But lucky for me, I have short people to answer to [and mouths to feed] so the hesitation only lasts so long. Sooner or later, the natives get restless, and I get a move on.

Many of us keep meaning to relocate to the neighboring state of Knuckle Down, but just can’t seem to get our rears in gear. So we sit around, well intentioned and well-versed in really, really good excuses. Excuses so refined, that lately, even the excuse makers are buying into them. I mean, the shelf life of an excellent put-off is remarkable. For example, I’ve been swamped and unable to go to the gym to drop those last 10 for so long, they've nearly doubled in value. And that’s exciting, because why work out everyday to maintain, when you can panic, torture yourself, obsess compulsively to the point of burn-out... and win fleeting bragging rights?

“You lost 20 pounds? Oh my stars, you look AMAZING!”

Yes, we dream about receiving these accolades. And then we hit the snooze button. To the professional procrastinator, this is our take on 'drop and give me twenty'-- more minutes. No seriously, I will totally, totally wake up and get my butt moving if you will only leave me alone for twenty... no, thirty... hmm, better make it 45 more minutes.

Zzzzz.

Wake up, people. The hour is now. If you know that you get stuck [getting ready to get ready] then grab a gigantic cup of coffee, get creative, and find a way to hold yourself accountable. For me, the most effective tool used to keep me honest is the public announcement:

“I will be at such-and-such event, doing this-and-that-and-the-other thing. See you so-and-so’s there.”

And then I show up. Because, after all, I said I would, didn't I?

Now, while I may not be a fitness consultant [obviously] I do happen to know a thing or two about whipping businesses into shape, and the thing that’s most commonly overlooked, put off, and swept under the rug is market strategy. Because who wants to pay for advertising? And who wants to deal with sales reps? And who wants to get all sales-y and stuff on people we barely know, or worse, people we actually know? Pretty much no-one, that’s who.

Too bad. Because like it or not, if you want to drive business, you have to get down to business. And sometimes that means getting your hands dirty, i.e.: picking up a phone, writing an email, updating your website, networking, taking that hot prospect out for lunch and dinner AND cocktails before you can even dream of getting a deal done.

And you should probably do it now, while you're thinking about it. Not tomorrow, not next week, but today. As in today-today-- like, this very afternoon. In fact, this morning would have probably been best. Yes, wise-apple, cocktails in the morning, if need be. Not that I would confirm or deny the effectiveness of this practice, but rumor has it, Bloody Mary’s and breakfast burritos are one helluva great way to get ‘er done. And if that doesn’t work, try beer and brats, or Merlot and mussels. And if you still can’t break through after all of that, you might want to see if the client you’re courting is a vegan. In which case, I’d recommend a nice Pinot and polenta, and perhaps a letter of apology.